Contact Us

threats will be relayed to authorities. feedback is mostly unnecessary. flatter us at your own peril.

Contact Us

Embrace your inner schmuck and reach out. We're here to help you express your disdain and celebrate your ineptitude and that of others through our offerings.

Location

We are omnipresent. Deal with it.

Hours

1 PM - 2:37 PM Pacific

For Schmucks

express disdain. embrace your inner schmuck.

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Join the swaths of schmuckitude

orders@4schmucks.com

312-725-2885

"Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it." - George Carlin